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brian
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please toss me my gifts now
brian
Wednesday, 06 May 2020
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corona
coronavirus
birthdays
idiots
social distancing
cakes
and rumor has it they share a bathroom sink!
brian
Monday, 04 May 2020
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gossip
idiots
happy anniversary
anniversaries
harry
sex
the guy who doesn't text
brian
Sunday, 03 May 2020
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corona
coronavirus
whispering
cheating
bartenders
bars
"i'll need a tetanus shot first." -- jelly
brian
Thursday, 30 April 2020
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third wheels
peanut butter
jelly
pliers
nails
odd trios
"hey, how come i don't get a cape?"
brian
Monday, 27 April 2020
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batman
superheroes
third wheels
robin
batmobile
seatbelts
cars
bring your own straw
brian
Friday, 24 April 2020
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bars
corona
coronavirus
virus
straws
drinks
alcohol
bee best
brian
Tuesday, 21 April 2020
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virus
bees
essential workers
workers
coronavirus
corona
remember to wash your shared hands
brian
Friday, 17 April 2020
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twins
siamese
germs
virus
siamese twins
coronavirus
corona
right lung collapsed
brian
Tuesday, 14 April 2020
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social distancing
germs
board games
twister
coronavirus
corona
let me get a biopsy with my drone
brian
Sunday, 12 April 2020
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corona
coronavirus
dermatologist
virus
telescope
germs
doctors
intergalactic social distancing
brian
Thursday, 09 April 2020
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leader
virus
social distancing
coronavirus
corona
aliens
the hammock became useless
brian
Tuesday, 07 April 2020
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corona
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islands
social distancing
stranded
virus
the talk with the hermit crab didn't go any better
brian
Saturday, 04 April 2020
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coronavirus
corona
bear
hibernating
sleeping
stuck
i'd love to be quarantined with you!
brian
Thursday, 02 April 2020
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corona
coronavirus
pick-up lines
temperature
virus
gloves
masks
wheezing not squeezing
brian
Wednesday, 01 April 2020
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virus
hugs
drugs
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pandemic
the dummy has lockjaw and needs a tetanus shot
brian
Tuesday, 31 March 2020
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ventriloquists
corona
coronavirus
virus
germs
purell all the bills and nobody gets hurt!
brian
Sunday, 29 March 2020
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bank robber
banks
corona
coronavirus
masks
virus
"hey, what's your temperature?"
brian
Friday, 27 March 2020
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corona
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dating
profile pictures
virus
or if you know of two really really strong guys
brian
Wednesday, 25 March 2020
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casket
corona
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social distancing
virus
death
pallbearers
close enough
brian
Monday, 23 March 2020
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social distancing
inches
feet
apostrophe
just make sure the baserunners social distance themselves from the fielders
brian
Saturday, 21 March 2020
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baseball
corona
coronavirus
hands
germs
#1
there's a lot of people coming so two-ply, please
brian
Wednesday, 18 March 2020
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toilet paper
dinner
parties
wine
salad
and a half-a-roll of toilet paper!
brian
Sunday, 15 March 2020
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game shows
coronavirus
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purell
illness
disease
hands
and you can vacuum out my pockets
brian
Friday, 13 March 2020
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coronavirus
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car wash
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wash
idiots
80% chance of pants flurries
brian
Tuesday, 10 March 2020
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weathermen
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rain
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